


Knitting Patterns

by romulusgloriosus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Frothy Insectoid Afterbirth, Knitting, Multi, Slice of Life, The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-07 22:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20983229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romulusgloriosus/pseuds/romulusgloriosus
Summary: John, Roxy, and Calliope come over to the Maryam-Lalonde house to keep Rose company. They learn how to knit. It's cute. I wrote this for "Inktober" because I can't draw. The word today was "Pattern."





	Knitting Patterns

It’s a quiet morning in the Maryam-Lalonde home today. Kanaya works long hours in the Brooding Caverns, leaving Rose with a lot of time to watch her stories on the television, focus on her knitting, and tend to her young wiggler. Rose is finding taking care of a troll hatchling to be significantly easier than caring for the human equivalent. She’s never actually done the latter, but based on the general consensus of human infants being loud, messy, irritable little creatures, little Vriska hasn’t been much trouble at all. It isn’t much of a surprise to her, then, that in their native habitat trolls were successfully raised by aloof wild animals.

The newly engaged John Egbert and Roxy Lalonde are visiting today, along with Roxy’s friend Calliope. It’s always pleasant for Rose to have her mother/daughter, her oldest friend/future stepfather/future son-in-law, and Calliope around, especially compared to her brother and his paramours. She deeply loves DaveJadeKat, as she has taken to calling them much to her wife’s chagrin, but at the very least John, Roxy, and Calliope don’t have a habit of going on endless tirades over the slightest minutia and/or shouting at the top of their lungs in the presence of a sleeping child.

Not that the last part particularly matters either. As Kanaya is so fond of reminding her, Vriska has not grown her “aural canals” yet. She’s blissfully unaware of how loud her Uncle Karkat can be. Unfortunately, Mama and Mommy are not so immune.

JOHN: so...you were going to teach us how to knit, right? i’m actually kind of looking forward to it.  
ROXY: omg b u r just too cute  
ROXY: r u goin to knit me a new scarf id treasure it 4eva lmao  
JOHN: sure! i mean, a scarf sounds kind of tough to do at first, but i’ll try my best!  
CALLIOPE: oh! i hadn’t the faintest idea that we woUld be knitting today! how very exciting!  
ROXY: do u no how to knit callie???  
CALLIOPE: of coURse! i woUld often knit accessories for my trollsona! ^u^  
CALLIOPE: knitting is sUch a splendid and peaceful hobby. i woUld spend many long hoUrs lost in my own little world knitting whatever came to mind! i woUld love to help yoU learn, roxy.  
ROXY: ok deal! teach me o wise one  
CALLIOPE: hUrrah!  
ROSE: I’ll admit that I was mostly joking when I offered to teach you how to knit, John, but I am happy to extend lessons. I would never have started knitting in the first place if you hadn’t suggested it.

Rose giggles and holds a hand to her mouth daintily.

ROSE: Perhaps you were projecting at first by offering the knitting needles to me? Maybe it was something you always wanted to try?  
JOHN: haha, maybe! i don’t know. kind of weird to think of it that way.  
ROSE: Yes, John, I know you don’t like to think about things very much.  
JOHN: hey! whats that supposed to mean, rose?  
ROSE: Oh nothing, just a gentle jab between friends. Family, even. So, would you like to learn to knit or not?  
JOHN: yeah fine. i still like the idea of being able to make something myself. also maybe something to take my mind off some stuff might be helpful.  
ROSE: Perfect. Let me go fetch some patterns from the closet.  
CALLIOPE: oh there is no need, rose! i am more than happy to teach roxy from memory. i had no need for patterns when i was learning to knit!  
ROXY: i have faith in U callie lol  
ROSE: John?  
JOHN: i’ll take the patterns, thanks. i think i’m better at stuff when i actually know what i’m supposed to do.  
ROSE: Very well. I’ll be right back.

Calliope collects some extra needles and yarn from Rose’s knitting bin and hands them off to John and Roxy. She immediately sets to work on teaching Roxy how to hold the needles and cast on the yarn, putting her own hands on Roxy’s and walking her through it. The whole thing is strangely intimate, though Roxy seems much more focused on her project than on Calliope’s attention. John squirms uncomfortably, fiddling with the knitting needles in his hands.

JOHN: hey rose? did you find those patterns yet?  
ROSE: Just another moment, John! These are very basic patterns I haven’t used in a while and...oh, here they are!

Rose comes back out into the living room, taking a seat next to John and showing him the patterns.

ROSE: Do you see what to do?

She looks over at Calliope and Roxy and smirks mischievously.

ROSE: I don’t suppose you want me to hold your hands too, John?  
JOHN: no! i mean...no. that’s ok rose, i think i’ll be fine just letting you talk me through it.  
ROSE: Well, let me know if you change your mind. So here, this is where you start....

The two begin to work for some time. Roxy is making a serious mess of things and her “scarf” looks more like a cobweb than anything wearable, much to Calliope’s frustration. John, on the other hand, is actually making some significant progress on the new pink scarf he’d promised Roxy.

JOHN: i had no idea that a scarf was so easy to make! i thought it would be really hard.  
ROSE: You’re a natural, John.  
JOHN: haha, great!

CALLIOPE: i don’t Understand how yoU’re having so mUch difficUlty with this, Roxy! yoU jUst have to...  
ROXY: flip it turnways lol  
CALLIOPE: yes!!!  
ROXY: thats always the problem isnt it

ROSE: I never imagined my life to be this...domestic. But I’m enjoying it. I’m very grateful to you, John, for doing this for me.  
JOHN: doing what?  
ROSE: Wait, stop. You’re still knitting this row when you’re supposed to pearl it instead. You’ll ruin the whole pattern.  
JOHN: shit you’re right! i didn’t even notice.  
ROSE: They don’t call me a Seer for nothing.

After several hours of Rose’s gentle instruction and Calliope’s increasing frustration, they finally finish their projects. John has made a pretty pink functional scarf, and Roxy has made something best described as a “mess.” Calliope isn’t happy. Roxy couldn’t be more pleased with herself.

ROXY: omg b ur scarf looks so good! is it for me lol  
JOHN: of course! i promised you i’d make it, didn’t i? here you go!  
ROXY: u r the best :* :* :*  
CALLIOPE: roxy i wish yoU had pUt the tiniest bit more effort into yoUr *own* project! yoU coUld have made yoUr own scarf!  
ROXY: yea but its nicer when sumbody else makes it for u  
ROXY: + neway i had fun ur a great teacher callie  
CALLIOPE: i’d feel like a better teacher if yoU had something more to show from my teaching u_u  
ROXY: sry callie ill do better next time i promise  
CALLIOPE: ok i will hold yoU to that! ^u^

ROSE: John, you really are a natural. I hope that you take the time to continue practicing.  
JOHN: you know what, maybe i will! maybe knitting will be my thing!

Rose already knows that while John continuing to knit remains a theoretical possibility, it’s influence over any semblance of canon has come to an end. It will never come up again outside of this tiny fanfiction. All the same, she pats him on the shoulder and smiles.

ROSE: I’m proud of you, John.  
JOHN: thanks!

Kanaya comes home. She is covered head to toe in frothy insectoid afterbirth and smells of sweat and dried genetic material.

ROSE: You’re home early, beautiful.  
KANAYA: I Am Not In The Mood For Your Human Sarcasm My Darling I Am Extremely Uncomfortable Right Now  
KANAYA: Hello Roxy Hello John Hello Calliope It Is Always A Pleasure To Have You All In Our Hive  
KANAYA: I Must Go Shower Now I Hope You Enjoyed My Brief Cameo  
KANAYA: Goodbye

Kanaya rushes upstairs. Rose smiles at John.

ROSE: That should be enough to include her in the tags, don’t you think?  
JOHN: haha what?  
ROSE: Nevermind. The new story I’m watching is on in about ten minutes and I don’t want to miss it. I think you would enjoy it in particular, Calliope. It’s about an old woman writer who solves mysteries.  
CALLIOPE: that soUnds delightfUl!  
JOHN: Isn’t that just Murder She Wrote?  
ROSE: No. Would you like to stay and watch, and then have dinner with us?  
ROXY: sounds great lol  
CALLIOPE: please!

John shrugs.

JOHN: why not?


End file.
